[beginning fertility issues]

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Low-Tech Ways to Help You Conceive - Chapter 13

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Low-Tech Ways to
Help You Conceive


13. A LITTLE HUMOR NEVER HURTS...


Subject: The HPT Blues

    My temp is still up
    It's day twenty-eight
    Could it be, could it be
    That my period is late?

    I count on my fingers
    I look at my chart
    Could I be pregnant
    Without doing an ART?

    I shouldn't, I wouldn't
    I won't do a test
    It's a waste of money
    Just give it a rest.

    I say to myself
    Put it out of your mind
    Wait til tomorrow
    See what you find.

    I don't dare hope
    I don't dare dream
    If I don't pee on a stick
    I think I may scream!


Does anyone have any good-luck charms or superstitions for getting pregnant, that you want to share in the FAQ?

I eat Wheaties on mornings of IUI's. I figure my few, proud little marines can use the Breakfast of Champions!

No, it hasn't worked...


When I was going through our infertility treatments, I didn't hedge any bets! I would wish on stars, I'd say "if the Sunday newspaper circular has pregnancy tests on sale, it means I'll get pregnant this month" (hey, one tends to grasp at straws after 7 years of tests, surgeries, tests, failures, tests and miscarriages....oh, and tests). I even tried some of the kid's little tricks....holding your feet up when going over a railroad track and making a wish (funny thing is, I still do that, and I've got my 3 year old doing it! He gets VERY upset if everyone doesn't hold their feet up!), and wishing on those little "fairies" (y'know...those little dandelion puffs you see in the spring.) We also got several little good luck charms from family and friends. My two favorites are a little tiny porcelain baby in a brass cradle my twin sister gave me, and a fertility statue my brother-in-law brought back from (I think) Jamaica. Now here's the real stitch...One day I was driving home from work, and I hit a whole HURD of fairies! There were MILLIONS of them! So, just to play it safe, I made my usual wish.... two days later, we found out my son was on the way (that was the day we found out about my son's birthmother). Weird, isn't it?


I know it has been discussed before but does anyone else practice some odd rituals? My brother-in-law brought me a fertility candle holder and candles to use when we are having sex. I also wear a crystal around my neck and have those infertility frogs in the house.


I bought a fertility statue at Pier One Imports, which I believe is a national chain. The one I found is from Ghana, and it is specifically for conceiving twins, though this was not a requirement for me!


I think just about anyplace that sells African art has fertility dolls, those wooden statues with the large flat headpieces. I bought one at an ethnic arts fair. The guy told me that in Africa, when a woman wants to have a baby she carries one of these dolls on her back.

A friend of mine also bought a small version of one of these and gave it to a friend who was trying to get pregnant to wear as a pendant. She did become pregnant a few months later.

You can also often buy goddess figures at the type of shops that sell New Age books and music, crystals, etc.

Needless to say, the fertility dolls haven't done me any good.


My RE's wife got him one for Valentine's Day. It's an Indonesian fertility god that she found in an antique store in St. Louis. Dan (my RE) showed it to me.

I'm not sure how anyone can tell it's a fertility god, except that it's, uh, well-hung. It's certainly nothing like the African fertility statues I'm used to!

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Also, Kokopelli, the Indian spirit is considered good luck for infertility.

Ancient legend says that childless women would beg him to stay with them and play his flute.

(He's available in most Southwest stores. I hope its true. I just bought one in Fort Worth this weekend.


I have Kokopelli, an indian fertility god as a ceramic wall hanging and earrings.

Might try southwestern/indian stores.


And I thought I was bad. I really, really want to go the Ripley's Museum [in Orlando, Florida] to touch those fertility statues, just for fun, and maybe, just maybe, a little hope. It's kinda funny the way we all reach out for something, anything that will give us the hope of getting pregnant. So what if were a little silly along the way, it's way better than being depressed. Stay crazy!


Frankly, my husband and I are going to Orlando in March and have already planned our trip to Ripley's. What the hell!! We've decided that our lives have been on hold long enough and we want to have a little fun. Like you said, why not have a little fun on your way through this emotional and physical exhausting ride on the infertility rollercoaster! I'll rub those statues until they make me leave!!!

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My husband and I went to Ripleys Believe it or not museum in Grand Prairie a few weeks ago when they had the fertility statues. You are suppose to rub the head of the baby that the female statue is holding and the mango that the male statue is holding...Then you are supposed to get pregnant...YES I did rub the statues and so did my husband. These statues are on tour so call the one nearest you to see if they will be in your town! And good luck to all of you who are trying...

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I "Groped" the statues in San Antonio a couple of months ago...so far nothing yet. Did you get the card to return to them if you get pg? I have mine in my purse and hope that I will be able to send it in some day soon!!


I have a brazilian good luck charm (my father grew up in brazil) called a figa (pronounced fee-gah) that is a symbol that originally was a fertility symbol. It's a hand with the thumb between the first two fingers. Hasn't worked yet, but I figure, why not? =)

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Well, here's a few ironic things just to keep this thread light...

I heard that in some culture (I don't know which) that Frogs are a fertility symbol... so I guess it just figures that all of those poor little frogs I disected on my way to a Science Education (in biology) Degree are getting back at me!

I have also heard, tho, that having a dog at your wedding is a fertility charm, and we had that too!

My first term paper ever was on TestTube babies back in the 9th grade...

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When we went to Copan for our honeymoon, we were given a tour of some ruins in the countryside. In the middle of the forest was this huge stone frog, which they told me women used to come and have their babies. I was told to sit on it because it gives you good luck. I have a picture of myself sitting on this thing. Maybe I need to dig that picture out and put it by my bedside?

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Pink jasper is a fertility stone. Also angels by your bed are supposed to help.

Hey, how about a variation on this theme ... pink jasper and angels makes me think of something to keep on my bed (drum roll, please) -- a stuffed CASPER the friendly ghost! I could dye him pink just for increased dramatic effect...


Actually, I think I have a bad luck charm. About a year and a half ago my husband and I decided to move to Colorado so I could start law school. Before the move I bought a verde gris cast iron cricket for our hearth. A cricket on your hearth is supposed to bring good luck. To keep it short, the last year and a half has brought us nothing but trouble. The cricket has turned out to be more like that totem the "Bradys" found when they took their trip to Hawaii. Every undertaking seems to be a giant ordeal. I've even left law school, the reason we moved. I've seriously considered throwing this cricket away; however, I think it's pretty (and I keep telling myself that being superstitious is silly). I would advise against buying one of these crickets for your hearth. ;-)

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I hate to say this but every time I read the subject of this thread [Lucky Charms], I think about cereal. I think, I will do a lot for the treatment of my infertility like wearing crystals, lighting a candle in an ancient Egyptian fertility symbol and stuff but I am NOT eating that cereal. No way, no how!!! NOT gonna do it. :-)

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Okay these are all the very odd lucky charms I did w/ the IUI that we got pregnant w/ (on only 1.4m sperm). I am not superstious, but, I am now 16 weeks pregnant against all the odds:

1 - Visualized one strong sperm finding one good egg. 2 - Caustiously optimistic, vs no hope feelings. 3 - Hung a new picture across from our bed, it gave me a bright, optimistic, fertile feeling. 4 - Put a snapshot by my bed of when I was 1, sitting on my grandpa's lap (he died when I was young, but he was so wonderful) and the photo made me feel fruitful.

That is it, but all those things I did on this IUI and after 6 years in all, it worked.

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Lemon pulp in water looking like sperm swimming in solution, huh? I have a similar story ... Last Christmas my mother and brother gave me a nice gold bracelet. As I took it out of the box my first reaction must have puzzled them: I burst into laughter. Everyone was wondering what was so funny, so I couldn't keep it to myself. The links of the chain looked like little tiny penises ... As much as I'm grateful for their thoughtfulness, I just can't bring myself to wear that bracelet .. Maybe if you wore the bracelet it would bring you good luck! \:-)


Two things --my husband carries an african fertility sumbol --a little brass frog --on his keychain (just something I saw in a store somewhere). Also, after my IVF transfer, I wore a tiny piece of red ribbon on my bra strap during the day, and around my ankle at night. The "red bendela" is a Eastern European Jewish custom --it is supposed to keep the evil eye away. Mostly it used to be tied on baby carriages to distract the evil spirits away from the baby, but I applied it to my own situation. My mother couldn't believe that her daughter with the two ivy league degrees did this! And no, it didn't work.


Another Jewish custom is directly for having children - being the godparents at a circumcisciom (I cannot spell it.) The godmother (this is her only duty, actually) carries the baby on a pillow from the mother to the godfather, who must be her husband. The godfather then carries him to the baby's father, and on to the mohel and the sondak (who holds the baby on his knees.) A few weeks ago, I summoned my courage to ask for this honor when a baby boy was born to our congregation. It couldn't hurt, and God willing it will work.


On the subject of "odd" (or we hope not so odd!) fertility rites...We just got some "magic wine" that we intend to try with this cycle. A dear friend's sister is a very religious Jew, and went to visit the grand pooh-bah Rabbi (no disrespect, but I don't remember his exact title) a few years ago. Having many children is considered a blessing among the Orthodox, and he apparently asked her why she hadn't had any. When she explained that she and her husband had been trying for years without success, he took a bottle of wine, blessed it, told her to mix a few drops with another bottle and drink it for the Sabbath. Voila! -- She is now the mother of two sets of twins, and another for good measure (the twins the result of IVF, the other a "miracle baby" -- her tubes were blocked). According to my friend, every woman who has had some of the wine has become pregnant, even those who weren't trying, those who didn't know what they were drinking, and those that had been told they couldn't have children. Our friend just had another friend bring us some of the wine in a baby food jar (she lives 2,000 miles away). We are more excited about this "treatment" than all the others we've had over the last few years!


I have two that were told to me:

    1) Have sex at your in-laws house (yes I tried this and no it didn't work - maybe wrong in-laws - i.e. should be HIS in-laws (my folks) not mine)

    2) Watch (rental obviously) "She's having a baby". I have not tried this I'm not a big movie person. But the person who told me said they did it before both pregnancies were conceived and it worked so well the second pregnancy is twins!! (Due in June)

Grins are good. :-)


Our first child was conceived on our two week honeymoon which was an Amtrak train ride across the country. I like to think it was the rocking of the train while making love in a sleeper car rolling through barren country.


My daughter was conceived in France on a night after my husband and I had just polished off a whole bottle wine. (not a good idea, but we didn't think we would get pregnant on our first try!)

Anyways, I had a university student tell me that he thought it was neat because our child would have dual citizenship. It took him awhile, but he eventually caught on.


The only time I got pregnant without medical intervention in 7 years of trying was after jumping over a bonfire on the summer solstice. Actually, it was just a very small part of the fire on a shovel. Unfortunately it only lasted a month or two. I guess I should have recharged my luck on subsequent full moons.


My husband kisses me right before he gives me my Metrodin shots, and then in the 2 week wait, he kisses my stomach every morning before he goes to work and everynight before we go to bed. We also name the follicles - ooh look there is number 17, and then we talk to number 17, etc.

Got pregnant doing that, now all we have to do is figure out what good-luck charm or superstitions will keep us pregnant.

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According to new studies, sperm can live up to 7 days!!! :) (GO TADPOLES, GO!!!!)

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Another fun myth [about penis size and fertility]: Female orgasm is what causes ovulation, and since women *always* have orgasms with 'larger' men; well, isn't it obvious?...

So does that mean a woman can ovulate more than once a month? (more than once a night? ;) ) I think it is the case that female orgasm helps the sperm along, so maybe there is some grain of truth to this myth. Though I don't know about the 'larger' men connection.....

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: Our Dr. suggested vegetable oil for lubrication. Has anyone else heard : of this? Is it safe? *giggle* I don't know about its safety. All I know is that the idea reminded me of that old list about why cucumbers are better than men.

It really has been a long day. Really, it has.


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